Articles: Homeschool Stories and Discussion

This absolutely essential part of human development may be more complex than you think.

Author: Grace

Socialization is a commonly debated issue related to homeschooling. Do some research on it, and you will find everything from claims that homeschooling produces superior social skills, to warnings about the dangers of isolation. To participate in this debate, you must first understand what socialization actually means, and how it happens. This article series will give a brief overview of socialization. Hopefully it will be helpful whether you are a homeschool alumni evaluating your own socialization, or someone who wants to ensure that a homeschooled child in your life is well-socialized.

Definitions

The word “socialization” has two meanings related to human social development. Merriam-Webster‘s online dictionary defines it as following:

a: the process beginning during childhood by which individuals acquire the values, habits, and attitudes of a society

b: social interaction with others

Socialization is multi-faceted and involves an individual learning the rules of society as a whole, not just that individual’s social interactions with others. What exactly can be meant by “society” though? The relevant Merriam-Webster definition is:

a: an enduring and cooperating social group whose members have developed organized patterns of relationships through interaction with one another

b: a community, nation, or broad grouping of people having common traditions, institutions, and collective activities and interests

A society is like an ecosystem of humans, where the interactions of different members keep the entire system functioning.

Becoming a Part of Society

A child born anywhere in the world will be born into a society that is defined by their culture and nationality. Just as different species in an ecosystem are dependent upon each other, each individual person relies upon their fellow human beings. That is why it is necessary for a child to be socialized into their own society and learn how to form relationships with the people around them.

The Role of the Family

For most children, their journey into society begins in the home with their own family. Babies are normally held, cared for, and spoken to by caregivers long before they can communicate for themselves. As they grow older, kids can learn about the basic norms of their society from siblings and extended family members. As the textbook Introduction to Sociology available on OpenStax puts it:

They show the child how to use objects (such as clothes, computers, eating utensils, books, bikes); how to relate to others (some as “family,” others as “friends,” still others as “strangers” or “teachers” or “neighbors”); and how the world works (what is “real” and what is “imagined”).

The consequences of not getting this early childhood interaction are devastating. Introduction to Sociology opens its chapter on socialization with an example of a seven-year-old girl who family had severely neglected her.

Without regular interaction—the holding, hugging, talking, the explanations and demonstrations given to most young children—she had not learned to walk or to speak, to eat or to interact, to play or even to understand the world around her. From a sociological point of view, Danielle had not been socialized.

The little girl had been left alone in rooms for most of her life and had never attended school. Without sufficient attention from her family, she was not capable of walking or eating properly let alone communicating with other people. Even basic abilities like these must be learned from others and are not naturally discovered by a child in complete isolation. This tragic case is an extreme example of parental neglect that underscores just how important it is for all children, homeschooled or not, to receive plentiful attention from their family members.

The Role of Peers

The family plays a critical role in child development and homeschooling keeps children at home with their parents and siblings more than they would be otherwise. However, the family alone cannot socialize a child. There are multiple agents of socialization. Members of a society have “organized patterns of relationships” with each other that extend beyond family, and children need to learn how to act in multiple social contexts- including those with peers. Peers offer the chance to form friendships with others of a similar age and developmental stage. This helps children learn “essential social skills such as cooperation, leadership, and conflict resolution“. For adolescents, peer groups are especially important as they “begin to develop an identity separate from their parents and exert independence“. As a young person matures into adulthood, so will their peers, who will become coworkers and romantic partners. They will forever be members of the same generation, connected by shared cultural experiences that began during childhood.

Collective Experiences

Society is defined partly by the fact that its member share “common traditions, institutions, and collective activities and interests”. Participating in these things gives people common experiences with others in their society beyond their family or even their friend and neighbors. It allows them to “acquire the values, habits, and attitudes of a society”, a core part of being socialized. For children, school is not just a means to the end of learning academic skills it can be considered one of the shared institutions of society. As Introduction to Sociology puts it:

Students are not in school only to study math, reading, science, and other subjects—the manifest function of this system. Schools also serve a latent function in society by socializing children into behaviors like practicing teamwork, following a schedule, and using textbooks. School and classroom rituals, led by teachers serving as role models and leaders, regularly reinforce what society expects from children.

Homeschooled children are separated from the common experience of attending school that most children in developed countries get by default. So, being homeschooled will cause a child to be participate in society and be socialized differently than most children are. Not automatically worse, but still differently. A homeschooled child’s experience of teachers, classmates, homework, recess, and so on, will not be that of most children. They will miss the good of school along with the bad and instead have their own good and bad experiences as a homeschooler. Some homeschool alumni may look back with regret over not experiencing a more typical childhood, others with gratitude for their uncommon upbringing, some may have a mixture of feelings. This largely depends on individual circumstances. All homeschoolers will have a unique journey into society.

Every society is flawed, and homeschooling can be an escape from prejudice and negative peer influence. However, while young people do not need to accept social injustice, they do need to learn to function in society. This is why it is critical for homeschoolers to partake in community outside their home and family. They need activities that expose them to different parts of society and allow for learning social norms and sharing in common cultural experiences. This includes many types of social interactions and interpersonal relationships. Social interactions with other individuals will be discussed in more detail in the next installment of this article series. Thank you for reading the first one!