Socialization Explained for Homeschoolers: Part 1

This absolutely essential part of human development may be more complex than you think.

Author: Grace

Socialization is a commonly discussed issue related to homeschooling. Do some research on it, and you will find everything from claims that homeschooling produces superior social skills, to warnings about its potential for isolation. What is the truth? To participate in this debate, it is useful to know exactly what socialization means, and how it happens. This article series will give a brief explanation of socialization. Hopefully it will be helpful whether you are a homeschool alumni wondering if you were properly socialized yourself, or someone with a homeschooled child in your life.

Definitions

The word “socialization” actually has two meanings related to human social development. Merriam-Webster defines it as following:

a: the process beginning during childhood by which individuals acquire the values, habits, and attitudes of a society

b: social interaction with others

Socialization is complex and involves an individual learning the rules of society as a whole, not just that individual’s social interactions with others. Furthermore, the goal of a child’s socialization is to be integrated into the society in which they were raised. What exactly can be meant by “society” though? The relevant Merriam-Webster definition is:

a: an enduring and cooperating social group whose members have developed organized patterns of relationships through interaction with one another

b: a community, nation, or broad grouping of people having common traditions, institutions, and collective activities and interests

A society is like an ecosystem of humans, where the interactions of different members keep the entire system functioning.

Becoming a Part of Society

A child born anywhere in the world will be born into a society that is defined by their culture and nationality. Just as different species in an ecosystem are dependent on each other, each individual person relies upon their fellow human beings. That is why it is necessary for a child to be socialized into their own society, and learn how to form relationships with the people around them

The Role of the Family

For most children, their journey into society begins in the home with their own family. Babies are normally held, cared for, and spoken to by caregivers long before they can communicate for themselves. As they grow older, kids can learn about the basic rules of their society from siblings and extended family members. As the textbook Introduction to Sociology available on OpenStax puts it:

They show the child how to use objects (such as clothes, computers, eating utensils, books, bikes); how to relate to others (some as “family,” others as “friends,” still others as “strangers” or “teachers” or “neighbors”); and how the world works (what is “real” and what is “imagined”).

The consequences of not getting this early childhood interaction are devastating. Introduction to Sociology opens its chapter on socialization with an example of a seven-year-old girl who family had severely neglected her.

Without regular interaction—the holding, hugging, talking, the explanations and demonstrations given to most young children—she had not learned to walk or to speak, to eat or to interact, to play or even to understand the world around her. From a sociological point of view, Danielle had not been socialized.

The little girl had been left alone in rooms for most of her life and had never attended school. Without sufficient attention from her family, she was not capable of walking or eating properly let alone communicating with other people. Even basic abilities like these must be learned from others and are not naturally discovered by a child in complete isolation. This tragic case is an extreme example of parental neglect that underscores just how important it is for all children, homeschooled or not, to receive plentiful attention from their family members.

The Role of Peers

The family plays a critical role in child development and homeschooling keeps children at home with their parents and siblings more than they would be otherwise. However, the family alone cannot socialize a child. There are multiple agents of socialization. Members of a society have “organized patterns of relationships” with each other that extend beyond family, and children need to learn how to act in multiple social contexts- including those with peers. Peers offer the chance to form friendships with others of a similar age and developmental stage. This helps children learn “essential social skills such as cooperation, leadership, and conflict resolution“. For adolescents, peer groups are especially important as they “begin to develop an identity separate from their parents and exert independence“. As a young person matures into adulthood, so will their peers, who will become coworkers and romantic partners. They will forever be members of the same generation, connected by shared cultural experiences that began during childhood.

Collective Experiences

Society is defined partly by the fact that its member share “common traditions, institutions, and collective activities and interests”. Participating in these things gives people common experiences with others in their society beyond their family or even their friend and neighbors. It allows them to “acquire the values, habits, and attitudes of a society”, a core part of being socialized. To comprehend this part of socialization is to realize the true significance of homeschooling. For children, school is not just a means to the end of learning academic skills it is one of the shared institutions of society. As Introduction to Sociology puts it:

Students are not in school only to study math, reading, science, and other subjects—the manifest function of this system. Schools also serve a latent function in society by socializing children into behaviors like practicing teamwork, following a schedule, and using textbooks. School and classroom rituals, led by teachers serving as role models and leaders, regularly reinforce what society expects from children.

Attending school allows children to develop social behaviors that will be useful to them later in life. Schools also reinforce common values and a shared sense of identity among students from different family backgrounds. For example, U.S. students are taught to recite the pledge of allegiance, and learn American history in school, thus reinforcing their identities as Americans.

Homeschooled children are separated from the common experience of attending school that most children in developed countries get by default. They will not have teachers, classmates, homework, recess, and so on, in the same way most kids do. They will miss the good along with the bad. This loss of common childhood experiences is not something that can ever be recovered in adulthood.

It is true that every society has flaws, and homeschooling can be an escape from prejudice and negative peer influence. At the same time, children will grow up to be adults who need to be able to survive in their own society, even if they need not accept injustices they find. Not having the foundation of a near-universal shared experience could also potentially make social interactions, the second definition of socialization, more difficult. This will be discussed in more detail in the next installment of this article series. Thank you for reading the first one.